


Twenty Reasons

by kumjongin



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Corporate, Arranged Marriage, Infidelity, M/M, angst (Mild)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-10
Updated: 2017-01-10
Packaged: 2018-09-16 14:41:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,945
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9276476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kumjongin/pseuds/kumjongin
Summary: In which Jongin and Sehun are put into an arranged marriage, and have to navigate their first year together.





	

  **I.**

The party was typical, with all manner of people in their dolled up attire milling about and trying to impress one another. Jongin took a glass of champagne from a passing waiter, quietly letting out a sigh. It was his father's affair, as most of them were, but he had little choice in at least making a prolonged appearance. He caught sight of his parents as they danced around the crowd, his father with his stern expression and his mother with her perfected smile.

“You look as bored as I feel. Let me guess, your parents dragged you here?” came a voice next to him.

Jongin turned his head to look at who spoke up. His gaze fell on a tall, thin boy with dyed blond hair and a serious, yet handsome face. “Good guess. Yours too?” he asked, a faint smile slipping onto his expression.

“Yep. Everyone here is boring,” he snorted softly.

“I'm Jongin.”

“Sehun,” he returned, a hint of a smile coming to his lips yet not fully forming.

“Well, Sehun, am I one of the boring masses?” he asked, tone playful.

“I guess I'll have to know you a little bit longer before I decide that,” he said, “Want to go somewhere else?”

The invitation was rather explicit in its intentions, and Jongin snorted quietly. “You don't waste any time.”

“Would you prefer me to play coy?”

“Sorry, I actually have a boyfriend,” he admitted. He knew, of course, that he'd been flirting with him at least a little bit, but he wouldn't let it go much further.

Sehun's lips pressed together slightly. “Boring,” he finally uttered before turning and walking away.

**II.**

“Jongin, come in here,” his father called out from his office.

He let out a quiet sigh, rising from his seat on the couch and slipping his phone back into his pocket. Yifan had been texting him about their plans for the night, and they were just deciding on which restaurant to settle on when the call came. “What's up?” he asked as he stepped through the door of the office.

His father was sitting behind his desk, his usual stern expression written on his face. “Have a seat, we need to discuss the future,” he stated simply.

It wasn't that unusual for him to request such a conversation, always insisting on Jongin's involvement in the family business in some way. “Alright, what this time? I'm still not even out of college, Dad,” he reminded him, the joke a familiar refrain.

The man shook his head, though there was a tinge of amusement in his expression. “No, not about your career. About your future spouse,” he explained, opening a drawer to withdraw some documents.

Jongin's brow furrowed. “Um, Dad? Yifan and I have only been dating a few months,” he reminded him, still a little unclear on where this particular conversation was going.

His father cleared his throat, placing a few documents on the desk before him. “Yes, and he comes from a family of...what was it? Music producers?”

“And?” Jongin asked, though he knew there had already been a few snide comments about their profession. To anyone else, it would be a respected career, but to his father it was only a step away from being a DJ in a nightclub.

“There's a deal that needs to happen. In order for our two companies to join, there needs to be a sign of good standing. I've already discussed it, and it's been decided that you will be married,” he said, the words falling from his mouth matter-of-factly.

Jongin blinked. “Wait...what? You promised me to someone? Didn't we have that discussion a long time ago? That I wanted to find someone myself?” he asked, bewilderment settling over him. He'd already seen his two older sisters married off as part of an arrangement for business, but he didn't expect that he'd be drawn into the mix.

“Perhaps we did, Jongin. But things have changed, and you and I both know that business comes before anything else. And this was the only way the deal could be clenched, so we will formally introduce you two this upcoming Saturday,” he explained. “It will help settle things around at the club as well.”

He knew from the man's tone that there would be no arguments about it, and he groaned. “This is insanity, what the hell am I supposed to tell Yifan? 'Sorry, we have to break up because my dad is making me marry someone else?' No one does arranged marriage anymore, Dad, this is fucked up.”

“Jongin, language. I am your father and you will respect me,” he cautioned, “Now I'm sorry that this has messed up whatever plans you may have had in regard to a spouse, but I'm afraid it has to be done this way. There has been a lot of animosity between the companies, and this is the only way to show true good faith. I don't know, nor do I care, what you tell Yifan. I'm sorry, but that's the end of his discussion.”

Jongin rolled his eyes, not caring about being respectful, and walked out of the office, the door closing with an immature – but so satisfying – bang.

**III.**

That night over dinner, Jongin knew he had to tell Yifan. It wasn't something that he could fight, that much he knew, his father would either have him married or he would be disowned from his family. When he walked into the restaurant, Yifan was already sitting at their usual table, fiddling with one of the linen napkins.

“Hey, stranger,” he greeted him with a smile, leaning in to press a quick kiss to his cheek.

“Babe, hey,” Yifan said, “I didn't see you come in.”

Jongin shrugged and took his seat across from him. The menus were already absent from the table. “Did you already order for us?”

“Yeah, that okay?”

Yifan had always had a habit of making his decisions for him, and he simply let a faint smile cross his lips. “That's fine. How's work?” he asked. His boyfriend worked in his family's business, having already been out of school for a few years.

“The usual. What's wrong? I can always tell when something's bothering you, you always press your finger to your lips,” he said with a quiet snort.

Realizing that he was doing just that, he quickly dropped his paint-stained hand. “Um, I have some news, I guess,” he admitted. There wasn't going to be a perfect opportunity to actually come out with it, and the longer he kept it in the worse it would end up being.

“You guess? What is it?” he asked, furrowing his brow slightly.

Before he could speak, however, the waiter came with their plates of food, setting them down before each of them. Jongin stared at the pasta with bits of squid and lemon. He hated squid. “My dad is making this new deal,” he began.

“When isn't he?” Yifan countered, taking a bite of his mushroom alfredo.

Jongin sighed softly, twirling his fork into the pasta, though he didn't actually take a bite. “I'm getting married,” he blurted, the words tumbling out in a rush.

Yifan blinked. “You're...what?” he asked, confusion written on his expression.

“Getting...married. I'm sorry. I...” he paused, taking a breath, “I don't have a choice. My dad set up this arrangement with this company and...yeah.”

There was another minute of complete silence. There was conversation and laughter surrounding them, of other couples enjoying themselves and families out to dinner. “Oh,” was all Yifan could muster.

“Are you okay? I'm sorry, I don't...want this to happen,” he muttered, the pit in his stomach growing with each word and lack of response from Yifan.

“Well, then. I guess that's that,” he finally said, clearing his throat.

“That's all you have to say?”

“What do you want me to say? 'That sucks?' It does, but you said yourself you have no choice. 'Let's change your father's mind?' Because that isn't going to happen. I guess all that's left to say is goodbye.”

“You're taking this awfully well,” Jongin's eyes narrowed slightly, suspicion building in the back of his mind.

Yifan sighed. “It's not a big deal, Jongin. I was planning on breaking up with you anyway,” he said casually, twirling some more pasta around his fork.

Jongin felt like he'd been punched in the stomach, the air leaving his lungs and eyes beginning to sting. “Go fuck yourself,” he hissed, standing up quickly to walk out of the restaurant. Anger flooded his mind, and he could only think of how disinterested Yifan had seemed, how his eye seemed to wander more than it had before. And it all made sense.

**IV.**

That Saturday, Jongin's stomach was in knots. Everything had already been settled without him, and he didn't have a choice in who this person was going to be. So meeting them was a feeling he couldn't even begin to explain, knowing that this person was going to be tied to him for the rest of his life whether he liked them or not. He fidgeted with the sleeve of his dress shirt again, glancing around the restaurant yet again.

His father glanced toward him, up from his phone where he was still conducting business. “Jongin, could you look less nervous before they arrive?” he asked.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, “It's not every day you meet the person you're _marrying_.”

There was a sharp glare, a warning for him to not act up when they arrived. And it was something that Jongin would heed, as he usually did, but it didn't mean he had to be happy when they were alone. His mother was supposed to have been in attendance as well, but at the last minute she'd come down with a 'migraine' and had stayed behind.

“There they are,” Jongin's father said, phone immediately put away as he stood up to greet them, a smile coming to rest upon his face.

Jongin's stomach tightened, but he dutifully stood as well, brow furrowing slightly as he couldn't see who they were for a moment. But when he did catch sight of who was quickly approaching them, his jaw clenched.

His father smiled and shook each of their hands, seeming more enthusiastic than Jongin had seen him in months. “And here's Jongin,” he finally introduced, a hand going to clap his shoulder.

The warm touch was foreign, but he knew how to put on airs. A practiced smile came to rest on his lips, and he extended his hand toward his father's business partner first – his soon to be father-in-law. “I'm pleased to meet you, sir,” he greeted him kindly before he turned toward the son. His husband-to-be. “Hello, Sehun, it's nice to formally meet you as well,” he said, though his smile felt slightly more strained than it had for his father.

Sehun, however, merely grunted his acknowledgment, and flopped down in his seat.

There was a beat of silence before Sehun's father let out a sharp bark of laughter. “Kids, you know how it is,” he joked, though there was a tightness in his expression.

Jongin let out a polite laugh, only taking his seat when his father gave him the indication. The lunch passed in a strange sense of tension, with their fathers mostly talking about business, with a few glances toward them to see if they were still around.

Sehun didn't seem to be concerned with any of what was happening around him, only tossing back countless mimosas. He didn't even glance at Jongin.

“So, um...we did meet before, right? I didn't imagine that?” he finally asked, voice quiet and a little unsure of the entire position they were in. He'd hardly touched either his drink or the plate of chicken before him.

Finally, Sehun glanced toward him. “The boring one, yeah,” he agreed, tone deadpan. “How did your _boyfriend_ take this news? Assuming you told him.”

Jongin swallowed thickly, looking to his father – though he was still consumed in business. “It went, um, as you'd expect, I guess,” he finally uttered. Of course, that was a lie, but he didn't know anything about Sehun beyond that one brief conversation they'd shared. Plus, he couldn't even deal with thinking about Yifan too much.

He snorted. “You're lying,” he said simply, taking another drink.

Though he wasn't sure how the other knew he was lying, he simply cleared his throat. “So, what do you do?” he asked instead, wanting to change the topic as their fathers continued to ignore them in favor of business.

Sehun sighed. “College. I graduate this spring.”

“Oh, me too,” he uttered, still feeling a strange tension in the air that he didn't know how to get rid of. “Um, are you working at your father's company after?” It was the usual way that things went in their circles, their well-to-do fathers immediately employing their recently graduated sons.

“Yeah, something like that. You?”

“Um, yeah,” he confirmed. Once again he was struck by the way that there was an awkward tension settled over them, and yet they were to be married. They fell back into silence, and they only left when their fathers had finished their business.

**V.**

The ceremony was set for the month following their graduation, and most of the details were worked out in their absence. Jongin only got the details after they'd already been set, and all he could do was nod along. They would be married in July, just a month after their graduation - on a weekend when their fathers' colleagues could attend and see the deal in action. It would be a large wedding, mostly filled with business partners and people their parents knew. Jongin was allowed five guests of his choosing, as was Sehun.

It was out of his hands, and he could merely agree with the plans told to him. Of course, the actual act of inviting anyone was more embarrassing than something he was looking forward to. He had friends who didn't understand the way of his father's business, and he didn't know how exactly to say that he was suddenly going to be wed.

They made their first appearance as a couple at another party at the country club. They hadn't actually seen or spoken with each other beyond their introductory lunch, but they would be expected to behave appropriately as fiancés. Sehun arrived to Jongin's house with his usual blasé expression, dressed in a suit that he'd no doubt been forced into. "Let's get this over with," he grumbled as soon as Jongin opened the door.

His parents had already gone ahead. And while he had his own apartment near school, they'd requested him to be at their house, and he'd dutifully arrived. "So charming. Are you going to say the same thing at our wedding?" he joked.

There was a hint of a smile that played on Sehun's lips at the words before he offered a simple shrug. "Probably. I mean neither of us is actually looking forward to being married," he said with a soft snort of amusement

Jongin could only nod and exited the house with his fiancé in tow. It didn't take them long to arrive, the ride over passing mostly in silence.

"Are we supposed to pretend to be in love or do they all know what's up?" Sehun asked as they stepped out of the car.

He thanked the driver before a brow raised slightly at the other's question. "Your dad didn't prepare you for any of this?"

"Not really. I don't usually attend these things and I don't have any siblings, so..." he trailed off with a shrug.

"Got it," he muttered, and it suddenly made sense. Both that Sehun was clearly a product of only-child syndrome and why they had been paired together. There hadn't been any other choice. "Well, a lot of them know. But they still expect that we seem like we want to get married."

"This is all so fake and ridiculous," Sehun grumbled, but seemed to accept it enough to lead Jongin into the club.

There had been tension surrounding the two businesses for a while, and it had created some discord amongst a few of the club members, so Jongin knew very well why their appearance was so important to their fathers. So when they entered, Jongin nudged Sehun in the direction of their parents, standing together near the bar. “Good, you two made it,” Jongin's father announced, a pleased for-show smile on his face.

“Wouldn't miss it,” Sehun said, an edge of sarcasm evident, though he quickly donned a smile – possibly to soften his sharpness.

Jongin cringed slightly, but cleared his throat instead. His gaze finally traveled from his own parents to those of Sehun, and while he'd met his father already, he hadn't seen his mother. However, once his gaze rested on the woman next to the man, he realized that there was no possible way that she could be his biological mother – she had to have been closer to their age.

After a few minutes of small talk altogether, his father insisted that they go around and socialize, both to keep up their own reputations and to spread the knowledge of their engagement to those who didn't yet know. Though Sehun let out a quiet sigh at the prospect, he followed Jongin's lead as he made his way around the room.

There was a permanent polite smile on Jongin's lips as he made his way, stopping to speak to as many people as he could. Many of them knew of Sehun more vaguely than personally, and he easily introduced him as his fiancé, even if his stomach still sunk every time he said the word. Sehun slipped into charm easier than Jongin expected, causing a few laughs and being more polite than Jongin had witnessed him.

It was more than an hour later that they were able to step outside for a few minutes, to get a reprieve from the inquiring questions and polite smiles. “That didn't go terribly,” he finally muttered, leaning against the balcony.

“I hate this,” Sehun grumbled, coming to stand next to him after a moment.

“Which part?”

“All of it,” he sighed, “This club, these people. Getting married.”

Jongin nodded. “I know. But what can we do about it?”

Sehun snorted softly. “You don't seem nearly as annoyed about this all as I do.”

There was a long pause, Jongin's eyes narrowing slightly. “You can't say that. You don't know me, remember? I've had to give up a lot for this, I just know that it's not worth it to refuse anymore,” he said, though his voice was more quiet than aggressive.

“I guess. Is this about the boyfriend again?”

He rolled his eyes slightly. “Ex-boyfriend. I'm engaged now, remember? So it doesn't matter,” he reminded him, though he quickly pushed himself away and turned to go back inside.

**VI.**

On the morning of the wedding, Jongin awoke with a pit lodged in his throat. The ceremony would begin at two, and by the end of the night he was going to be married to a man he hardly knew. It had hardly been a month since he'd graduated from college, and his father had arranged that he would begin working at the company after their honeymoon was over.

He felt almost in a daze as he allowed himself to be pulled along in preparations for the morning. There was a large breakfast that the family insisted on, and he mostly sat in silence, a feigned smile on his face as they all spoke around him. But they all knew the truth, so he didn't need to pretend to be excited. He was pulled along for a final check on his tuxedo fitting, which fit the same as it had a couple of months ago.

“So this is really happening?” Chanyeol asked, suddenly coming to stand next to him as the tailor ensured nothing was out of place.

“I guess so,” he muttered. Chanyeol and he had been friends since their prep school, when they'd grown close over their shared hatred of physics. They'd attended the same university, and it was only natural for him to ask the tall boy to be his best man. “It just feels kind of...surreal.”

A hand clapped down on his shoulder, playful but still supportive. “Maybe it won't be that bad?” he offered, always an optimist.

Jongin gave him a long look, one loaded with doubt. “The rest of my life spent with a perfect stranger,” he mused.

The remaining hours passed with more preparations, with photographs and too many people all rushing around. Jongin was lead to his position, with Sehun already standing there. The guests would be arriving soon, their parents having decided against the option of giving either of them away. He offered a small smile toward the other – his soon-to-be-husband. “It's here,” he said softly.

Sehun was wearing the same tux, and he looked about as enthused as Jongin felt. “Yeah, here in about twenty minutes we'll be stuck together,” he snorted quietly.

Time passed quickly after that, with guests filing in and taking their seats. Jongin couldn't look at them, he knew that there were only a couple of people he even knew, and he couldn't bare to face them. All too quickly they were being asked to join hands, and Jongin's palms felt sweaty as he took Sehun's in his own. The words of the minister seemed to roar in his ears, and he swallowed thickly.

“Oh Sehun, do you take this man to be your husband?”

Sehun's mouth twitched, and his hands clenched around Jongin's briefly. “I do,” he said, voice soft.

“And Kim Jongin, do you take this man to be your husband?”

He licked his lips, looking closely at Sehun for a moment before he cleared his throat. “I do,” he finally uttered.

And with that, it was done. The minister said his final words, and then Sehun was leaning in to kiss him. Jongin's lips parted slightly before the kiss landed, and he was almost surprised by how tender the other's lips were against his. It only lasted a moment, and Sehun's tongue brushed just slightly against his bottom lip before they parted.

**VII.**

As they entered their new home – provided by their families – Jongin let out a loud sigh. The house was filled with stark silence, the furniture already situated and sterile. “Welcome home...” Jongin mumbled.

Sehun snorted behind him, closing the front door and clicking the lock shut. “So...how weird is this?”

“There isn't a scale high enough,” he admitted.

“We're married. You're my...husband. And this is our house now,” Sehun spoke as though he was still trying to absorb each fact still. “How is this supposed to work? We don't even know each other...”

Jongin couldn't help the slight small that crossed his lips. There was something comforting in the fact that they were both just as bewildered as each other. “I don't know. I guess we'll get to know each other,” he suggested, though it felt completely backward to be only starting to know the man he was set to be with for the rest of his life. He slipped off his jacket, hanging it up on the coat rack. It felt empty, like he was hanging it up in a stranger's home, even if it was his now. “Are you hungry? My mom did some shopping for us, and I think the caterers left a lot of the food here,” he offered, walking from the foyer and toward the kitchen, his shoes resounding on the hardwood with the silence of the rest of the house.

Though Sehun didn't actually answer, he followed behind him and stood in the doorway. Jongin opened the fridge, taking in the array of groceries his mom had supplied them with, and he smiled a little. He reached, pulling out some of the leftovers from their dinner and reception, placing them onto the counter.

“This is all...” Sehun started, but quickly let out a defeated sigh. “Never mind. You already know how fucked up it is, I don't need to keep saying it.”

Jongin nodded his agreement, and although Sehun hadn't said one way or another if he wanted any, he began to fill two plates with leftover food from their wedding day. He popped them into the microwave, a soft sigh slipping past his lips. It was only another couple of minutes before he set the plates down at the breakfast nook and sat down, not waiting on Sehun to join him.

“You're taking this better than I would have thought,” Sehun said, his words echoing what he said not long ago. But he walked over and took the seat next to Jongin's anyway.

He shrugged. “Maybe. There just isn't much point in fighting it, I guess. We're married, it's done, you know?”

Minutes passed in silence, with both of them just picking at their food and simply existing. Jongin couldn't begin to imagine what was going through Sehun's mind, and he hadn't even allowed himself to feel anything about the day as a whole. There was too much to process, and it left him numb.

“Jongin?”

He blinked, realizing that Sehun had spoken to him. “Sorry, what?”

“I just asked how you want to do this. We don't love each other, I don't even really want to date you,” he mumbled.

Jongin paused, brows raising just slightly. “Charming.”

“I don't mean it like that,” Sehun shook his head. “I just don't like dating someone because I'm supposed to, you know?”

He suppressed the urge to roll his eyes. “Sehun...we're married now. You don't really get to rebel at this stage. But that's fine with me, we don't have to pretend to be anything together.”

“Are you mad?” he asked, his voice softer than it should have been.

“No,” he ran a hand through his hair, “It is what it is. You don't want to be with me, and that's fine. This house has two master suites.”

“Did you want to be with me?” Sehun's voice sounded more incredulous than anything.

He gave him a long, withering look before standing up. “You can clean up,” he said over his shoulder, leaving the kitchen to head toward one of the bedrooms he would claim as his own.

**VIII.**

Mostly, they passed each other in silence. They each had their own lives, and they seemed to be settled to let each other live it out. They both worked for their fathers, and that meant they didn't see much of one another, only that they were used as the symbol for the two companies being on good terms again. Sehun didn't hang out around the house very often, but Jongin didn't really mind if he didn't have to see much of him.

Jongin sighed as he took a seat at the table, reaching out to stir his cup of coffee. It wasn't long before he was planning on leaving for bed. He didn't know where Sehun was, and he wasn't sure if he cared. But when the front door opened, he glanced up anyway.

Sehun entered the kitchen, and their gaze met for a brief second. “Hey,” he said quietly, turning to look in the fridge.

“Hi. Were you out?” he asked, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat, withdrawing a bottle of water from the fridge before he went to lean against the counter. “What was your night like?”

“Quiet. I did some painting earlier,” he offered. It read strange to him that it was one of the more normal conversations they'd had, though he also realized it was one of the only ones they'd had in weeks.

“You paint?”

A faint smile passed over Jongin's lips. “Sometimes. For a while it's what I wanted to do.”

Sehun crossed to the table, and took the seat across from him. “Why didn't you?”

Jongin shrugged a shoulder. “With my parents? They'd never allow that.”

“What do you paint?”

“All kinds of things. People, places, cities,” he said. The weight of their lack of knowledge stuck heavily in the room. “What do you like to do?”

A hand ran over his hair, lips pressing together slightly. “I don't know. Go out, mostly.”

Jongin nodded. “Yeah, I've heard from a few people,” he said with a faint smile.

However, Sehun paused. “People are talking? Are you mad?” his tone was careful, almost as though he was trying to gauge what Jongin knew.

He shook his head. “Should I be?”

“I don't know. I mean...we're married.”

“Are you saying you're...seeing other people?” he questioned, reaching to stir his coffee once more.

Sehun didn't answer right away, instead looking down and studying his own fingers for a long moment. “We never really discussed any of this, I guess.”

“So that's a yes.”

He sighed. “Yeah, I guess so. I never said you couldn't, though.”

Though Jongin already knew the answer to his question, and although they weren't romantic together, it somehow still felt a little like he'd just been slapped. “No, instead you just said that you didn't want to be with me and left it at that. And now you're with other people.”

“...you are mad.”

“It's not about me being angry, Sehun. I'm not,” he ran a hand through his hair, letting out a disgruntled sigh. “It's just...you didn't even want to give it a chance. Somewhere you decided that instead of even attempting, you'd rather just go out and keep being a kid.”

A frown crossed Sehun's face. “So? I didn't want to get married, why should I be stuck with someone just because my dad says so?”

“Because that's your obligation. You stood there and said 'I do.' Which doesn't mean you have to want me, but it means you agreed to pretend for the sake of our families and their businesses.” His tone was calm, even though there was a gnawing in his stomach, raking over his insides.

Sehun licked his lips. “I went to the stupid parties, didn't I? I showed up at the wedding, the reception. What the fuck more do you want from me?”

“Look, I'm not sure how much you care about your dad's business or not. But when word spreads that you're out there fucking these random whores, it's going to reflect badly. Either they're going to think you're a cheater – which is going to piss off your dad's clients, or they're going to see that our marriage is a sham – which doesn't mend any fences or help the divide. Maybe you don't care about that, but I do,” he finished, standing from the table.

Silence followed, with Sehun not saying a word and only staring down at the table. Jongin rolled his eyes and walked away.

**IX.**

It was a week later that Sehun approached him again. Jongin was just stepping into his room from a shower when there was a knock on the bedroom, followed by Sehun opening the door. He glanced toward his husband, hand falling to his hip to keep the towel secured. “Can I help you?”

“Oh, sorry, I didn't know you weren't dressed,” Sehun said, though he made no move to actually walk away.

Jongin stared at him for a long moment. “Sehun...what did you want?” he asked, though he was on the verge of amused.

Sehun blinked away from staring at Jongin. “Sorry. Um, I wanted to talk about us.”

“What about us?” he asked, deciding to carry on with his business while the other kept dragging his feet. He stepped over to go inside the walk-in closet, seeking out a pair of jeans to wear for the night.

It wasn't but a moment later that Sehun appeared in the door of the closet, leaning against the door frame again. “I guess I felt bad about what you said. Because you were right, I didn't try at all. Can I tell you something about me?”

A brow raised slightly as he looked toward the other, curiosity piqued. He hadn't expected him to even pay much attention to that conversation. “Sure,” he agreed.

“Okay. Well, um, my parents? They had an arranged marriage too,” he began, arms folding over his chest. “And my mom hated it. She didn't like my dad at all. They were married for only a few months when she got pregnant with me, though. And, uh, she stuck around until I was four. Then she left us.”

Jongin remembered the woman standing with Sehun's father, how she hadn't seemed nearly old enough to be his mother, and it made sense. “I'm really sorry to hear that, do you hear from her ever?” he asked, holding onto a pair of dark blue jeans.

He shook his head. “No, the last time I heard from her was my ninth birthday. She sent a card...it was one of those blank ones that had a photo of birds on it? It was black and white, and these two black birds were on this limb. I thought it was so sad because they should have at least been in color. All she wrote was 'Mom,' not even Happy Birthday or anything.”

Silence descended on the room again, sadness prickling the air. “Oh my god. That's awful. I could never even imagine...”

“Yeah. But I guess the reason I'm telling you this is because you reminded me of it. She never tried with us, she couldn't give it a chance longer than four years. And I wasn't even giving you that, so I'm sorry. I don't want to be that,” he said, voice quiet, gaze falling back on the floor.

Jongin hadn't ever witnessed Sehun saying something so personal, and he wasn't sure how to comfort him, or even if he should. He stepped over to him, a hand reaching out to grasp at Sehun's own. It was odd, probably, that he was still only in a towel, with pants hanging over his arm, but it didn't matter to him. “I'm sorry too.”

Sehun's hand squeezed his slightly, gaze finally lifting to meet Jongin's. “Don't be. I'm glad you said all of that. So can we try? Maybe just try to be friends?"

“I'd like that,” he agreed, a smile appearing on his face for the first time in a while. “But, okay, friend? I'm gonna need you to get out of this closet so I'm not just hanging out naked.”

“Hey, it's not a bad view,” Sehun shrugged, but with another quick squeeze of Jongin's hand, he turned to leave.

**X.**

From then, they slowly began to work their way to knowing each other. It started with simple things like just having dinner together, or complaining about something that had happened at work. Neither of them seemed to want to push their relationship much, with Jongin unsure of what would send Sehun into another tailspin of self-deprecation or what he was comfortable with. But they slowly began to learn about each other.

Jongin allowed Sehun to see some of his paintings, and told him about his family. They discussed his sisters and their marriages, and Jongin told him about his baby niece who he adored. He introduced him again to Chanyeol, who had laughed about how he didn't know his best friend's husband.

And Sehun allowed Jongin to see inside a little more. He discussed his father's string of too-young girlfriends (and the occasional boyfriend), and how Sehun never knew any of them for very long. He liked music, usually sad, melodic music that Jongin had never heard of.

One night as Sehun was getting ready to go out (he still went out frequently, but it had slowed, and he tried not to do as much that would reflect as badly on them), he popped by Jongin's room. “Hey, do you want to come out with me?”

Jongin was in the middle of a painting, a watercolor of the view outside his bedroom. His window looked upon a cascade of trees that gave way to hills further in the distance. It wasn't very visible in the evening, but he had already painted it a thousand times in his mind. He turned to look at the other, a brow raised faintly. “Where are you going?” he asked, dipping his brush into a shade of watery emerald.

“There's this club that just opened. I don't know, I thought you might want to have fun?” he offered, coming to stand behind Jongin's seat.

“Painting is fun, but I know what you mean,” he snorted softly, filling in one of the hills with the darker color – giving it some more dimension. “I guess, though, sure. I haven't gone out in a really long time,” he admitted. It was probably when he'd still been in college, even though that had only been a few months ago – it felt longer.

“Cool. Then get dressed and we'll go. Just don't wear something lame, look hot,” Sehun said, though there was a laugh in his voice.

“I always look hot,” Jongin argued, placing his brush back into the water to clean it off.

“Yeah, but if you're coming with me I'm not settling for my husband to just be kind of hot.”

It didn't take him long to get changed into a pair of dark skinny jeans and a grey button-down, though when he went down to join Sehun he was met with a look of disapproval. “Is this a bad outfit?” Jongin asked, glancing down at himself.

“No, the outfit is fine. But you're not leaving your hair like that, are you?” Sehun asked, eyes narrowing at him slightly.

“I'd planned on it.” 

“That won't do. You look a lot hotter when your hair is styled back,” he advised.

Jongin rolled his eyes, but went back to his bathroom to style his hair. He didn't care that much what Sehun thought, sure, but he could easily admit that he sometimes struggled with fashion or what looked good on him. So although he rolled his eyes at him, he was thankful for the advice.

When they got to the club, Jongin immediately felt a bit out of place. It was a strange feeling, and unfounded, but somehow when he looked around at everyone else he just felt a little too old or a little too jaded for it all. He wondered when he'd developed that, given that it hadn't been long ago that he would have thrived in the environment.

But Sehun didn't seem to notice, and simply pulled him along to the bar where he ordered for the both of them. Jongin's memory immediately flashed on Yifan, and he swallowed thickly until Sehun handed him a glass. It was red wine. “You know what I drink?” he asked, having to yell to be heard in the loud club.

Sehun offered a smile. “I remember what you kept asking for at the wedding,” he admitted with a shrug, taking a drink of his martini.

He suppressed the urge to smile too much, and his attention was grabbed when Sehun took his arm, directing his attention to someone who'd approached them. His face was familiar, and it dawned on him that he was one of Sehun's guests at the wedding. He was small, and had a pretty face.

“This is Baekhyun,” he informed him before nodding at Jongin, “And you already know this is Jongin.”

Baekhyun smiled widely. “Hi, I'm kind of shocked you came,” he admitted with a laugh, “I didn't think this was your scene.”

“It's not really,” Jongin shrugged, “I used to come out a lot more, but...”

“I feel bad for you, having to be married to this,” he elbowed Sehun in the side with another laugh. He winked at them both before he sauntered away back toward the dance floor.

“He's...fun,” he said with a laugh of his own.

“Do you dance?” Sehun asked, “It's okay if you don't, but if you do...”

The question was almost surprising, Jongin not really thinking of Sehun as the dancing type. And of course, he didn't think he'd want to dance with him at all. “Oh, yeah, sure,” he agreed easily. They made their way through the throng of people, Sehun expertly leading Jongin away from them to find space on the dance floor.

When he found somewhere he deemed satisfactory, he didn't waste time in pulling Jongin close. There was a tingle that ran down his spine at the feeling of the other being so close, but he ignored it and instead focused on dancing to the thrumming beat that ran through his body. They danced for what seemed like forever, with Sehun's hands running along Jongin and hips grazing against hips. Jongin only laughed and pressed closer, dancing against him.

It was Sehun who needed a rest first. “I need air. You gonna be okay?” he asked, a smile coming to his lips.

Jongin nodded, watching him navigate through people to get outside. He made his way over to the bar, badly in need of water, when he was affronted by an all too familiar face. Yifan sat on one of the stools, some girl draped over his arm as he leaned in to whisper something to her. Jongin swallowed, trying to get rid of the sudden lump in his throat.

But Yifan saw him, and his eyebrows raised in surprise. Disentangling from the girl, he stood and took the few steps over to where Jongin was. “Long time no see,” he said, a vacant sort of smile on his lips.

Jongin didn't want to make small talk with his ex, but he couldn't seem to just walk away either. He shrugged. “I guess. Hi,” he greeted him, eyes scanning down the bar.

“Are you here alone?”

He wasn't sure why that mattered, but Yifan probably had some excuse for caring. “No, Se- my husband's here,” he amended, remembering that the other didn't know who Sehun was. Or probably not, anyway.

“You really went through with it? Marrying some guy just because Daddy said you should?” he snorted, the disdain evident in the press of his lips.

Jongin's eyes narrowed slightly. “You wouldn't understand.”

“I understand that you're stuck with some guy for the rest of your life. Some guy that you probably don't even like,” he said, “It's almost hilarious.”

His jaw clenched, but any reply was cut off when a hand reached out to his arm. He turned, and Sehun was standing there, a slight frown on his face. “Sehun...” he started, though there was a snort that came from Yifan on his other side.

“Is this your...husband?” Yifan asked, amusement slipping onto his face as he took in the sight of him.

“Yeah, and who the hell are you?” Sehun questioned, an arm coming to wrap around Jongin's waist.

There was something so unexpected about the gesture, and yet it was comforting. He wasn't afraid of Yifan, but he was uncomfortable around him anymore, and he was thankful that Sehun was there. “We should just go,” he suggested.

“I'm the boyfriend. You know, the one he broke up with because he had to marry you?” Yifan said, tone still cold and harsh.

“I think it was an upgrade,” Sehun offered, a biting smile on his face. “Come on, baby, let's go home,” he agreed, leaning in to capture Jongin's lips with his own.

The kiss was brief, but Sehun was clearly marking his territory. Jongin shivered at the sensation, licking his lips when Sehun moved away. He didn't even bother to look at Yifan before he followed along after Sehun.

They didn't really say much about the incident after that night, only that Sehun offered a quiet, “Your ex is a real asshole,” which Jongin could only laugh about. He wondered if Yifan had always been that way and he simply hadn't noticed.

**XI.**

“Well, darling? How's married life?” Jongin's mother asked, a perfectly lipsticked smile on her face as she sat at the breakfast nook.

Jongin had been surprised when she'd come knocking on the door early on a Sunday morning. “It's going well,” he said, setting her cup of coffee down in front of her. A splash of nonfat milk and two artificial sugars. “How are you and Dad?”

“Oh, we're always fine. You know. Do you two...are you in love with him yet?” she asked, stirring her spoon in the cup. Always twice clockwise, once counter.

He poured his own coffee with a hum. A healthy amount of cream and one spoon of sugar. “I don't know. I don't think so. We get along, though, we're trying to be friends right now,” he admitted to her, setting down an arrangement of fruit on the bar. She didn't expect him to be in love instantly, unlike everyone else seemed to.

“It takes time. Why don't you have him join us?” she asked.

“Oh. Uh, sure, I'll go wake him up,” he agreed, immediately walking out of the kitchen and ascending to Sehun's bedroom. She didn't know that they were in separate bedrooms. He knocked softly before opening the door, padding in quietly.

Sehun was asleep in a pile of blankets. He lay on his back, face tilted toward where Jongin entered. He smiled a little to himself, at the way that the other was so peaceful. Normally his expression was so guarded, and it was nice to see him looking soft and beautiful. He blinked, realizing he was dwelling on the other for longer than he should have.

Reaching out, he softly called his name and touched his shoulder. Nothing. “Sehun,” he called, a little louder, reaching to shake him a little. Nothing. “Wake up!” He smacked at his hip, not enough to hurt, but enough to be a surprise.

Finally, Sehun's eyes fluttered open, and he blinked a few times before his gaze settled on Jongin. “Huh? What happened? Is the house on fire?” he asked, voice mumbly and raspy with sleep.

Jongin let out a quiet laugh. “No. Sorry to wake you. My mom's here, she wanted you to come down,” he shrugged.

Sehun groaned, arms reaching above his head in a stretch. Jongin's gaze fell on the visible skin as he did so, his tank top riding up. “Why do I have to be there?” he whined, but he moved to sit up finally, hair messy and falling into his eyes.

He was gorgeous. Jongin swallowed against the thought, though it was pervading his thoughts increasingly. “No idea, honestly. But come on, get some clothes on and come downstairs.”

Going to rejoin his mother, he informed her that Sehun would be coming down soon, and went to make him a cup of coffee as well. Sehun hated the taste of coffee, but he liked the caffeine. Three heaping sugars and nearly half the cup of cream.

When he came down, it was evident that he hadn't put more than a couple of minutes into his appearance. Sweatpants hung low on his hips, and he still wore the tank top he'd slept in. “'Morning,” he greeted the two of them, and on seeing his coffee already at the nook, he went to sit beside Jongin, nudging his thanks.

“So glad you could join us, Sehun,” she said, sounding almost too happy.

“Oh, sure. No problem.” He stabbed at an orange slice before dumping it onto his plate.

“As you two know, your six months are coming up,” she announced, looking at the both of them as though she expected the knowledge.

Jongin frowned slightly, counting back. “In like a month...yeah,” he hummed. Christmas was coming close, and it had hardly dawned on him that they'd even been together that long. The past month or so had been easy, with them both getting along well and going places together, it hadn't seemed as punishing as it had before.

“Yes, exactly. So your father was hoping to do a small little party in honor of the businesses. It wouldn't be an anniversary party, of course, but just something to keep everyone reminded about you two,” she continued, her slices of apple on the plate remaining untouched.

Sehun and Jongin exchanged a look. “Sure, Mom, that's fine,” Jongin finally offered, knowing there wasn't exactly a way to say no. The marriage was a contract, and he was indebted to fulfill what they asked.

“Excellent. And darlings, the club's Christmas party is next week. Will you be making an appearance?” she asked, stirring her coffee again.

The question was there, but Jongin knew well enough that there wasn't going to be a choice in the matter. “Wouldn't miss it,” he agreed.

Sehun gave him a look, but Jongin lightly pinched him on the leg, where his mom wouldn't notice. “Can't wait,” Sehun piped up.

**XII.**

The Christmas party was the same every year. The club decorated everything in sight, adults got too drunk, the kids had to sing Christmas carols in between running around like crazy. Sehun sighed as soon as they stepped inside. “You know your parents care about this way more than mine do,” he mumbled.

Jongin laughed, “Yeah, I know. I'm sorry we can't get out of these stodgy events,” he said, leading the other toward the bar so they could get a drink. One red wine, one scotch. Drinks in hand, they finally went to go make their rounds of greetings. Jongin's parents gave them the usual smiles and kissed their cheeks. Sehun's dad merely gave them both a nod.

It was an hour later that one of the regular members approached them, an older woman who tended to gossip too much. “Well, well, well. Look at you two. How is the married life?” she asked, leaning in to Jongin conspiratorially.

He smiled politely. “It's great,” he answered easily, hand automatically seeking out Sehun's. The other squeezed his hand in return.

“Really? So you two are all in love and happy?” she asked, eyes narrowing just slightly.

It wasn't so unusual for her to question people's relationships, she was always curious about trying to break into some sort of drama. But he merely laughed a little, “Yes, we are. Aren't we?”

Sehun glanced at him for a moment before he looked back to the woman. “Yeah, we're very happy,” he echoed, taking a step closer to Jongin, their shoulders touching.

“Well I'm glad to hear it,” she smiled, “I'm surprised you two love-birds don't have your hands all over each other, being newly-weds still.”

Jongin knew that some comment of that kind was coming, and he held back a sigh. “We have some self-control,” he joked. It wasn't but a few more seconds that she finally walked away.

“This is why I hate these things,” Sehun groaned next to him. “Everyone is so nosy. Like why does it matter?”

He shrugged, “They just want to make sure we aren't going to split up and make things ugly again.” He'd seen it happen before, and he knew that Sehun tended to avoid as many of the events as he could, so he wasn't as familiar with some of the finer details of the fellow members. “Sehun, can I ask you for a weird-sounding favor? It'll help get her off our backs.”

Sehun frowned slightly, an only then realized that their hands were still clasped. “What?” he asked, letting go of Jongin's hand.

“Um, will you make out with me? If she walks in and finds us somewhere she'll probably shut up,” he explained, though he felt a little strange asking his husband to make out with him.

There was a snort next to him. “Well, making out with you has to be a lot more enjoyable than talking to these nosy people,” he joked.

They went around and greeted some more people for the next hour, engaging in a few separate conversations here and there. Chanyeol's family was part of the club as well, but they'd gone to the mountains for Christmas and weren't around. After a while, Jongin walked out to the balcony, the stale air inside feeling stifling. Outside, the air was crisp and a slight shiver ran through him. Minutes passed in silence, where he could faintly hear the sounds of the party behind him. People laughed, and sounds of conversation could be heard. The kids started singing Silent Night before there was a sound behind him, and suddenly Sehun was standing beside him.

“Hey,” Jongin said quietly, “How are things going in there?”

Sehun shrugged. “The same. You know.”

He nodded, he did know. It was always the same, just a different year. There were always scandals, and rumors of cheating, and he was used to it. “I hate this place sometimes,” he admitted.

Beside him, Sehun was about to agree, when he glanced behind him. “Uh, she's coming out here. Can I kiss you?” he asked.

Jongin immediately stood up and turned, reaching to pull Sehun close as he leaned against the balcony. He didn't hesitate to close the distance, lips finding lips easily. The kiss was soft, and Sehun let out a quiet noise as they did. Sehun's hand came to rest in Jongin's hair, pulling him in for a deeper kiss.

When Sehun's tongue brushed out against his lip, he immediately parted his lips for him, arms winding around his neck. Their tongues brushed together, and a soft sound was emitted into the kiss. The door opened behind them, and there was the sound of a mock-surprised, “Oh my!”

Jongin was the one to pull away, glancing to where the same woman stood. “Oh, sorry, ma'am. I guess we don't have that much control,” he said with a laugh.

She tutted quietly, but shot Jongin a wink before she withdrew back into the party.

He let out a quiet laugh again, “She's ridiculous.” Though she was gone, Sehun still hadn't moved from where he was, still wrapped around Jongin. “You don't have to kiss me any more,” he reminded him, hands untangling from his neck.

“I know I don't have to. But I want to,” Sehun said, voice quiet.

His breath caught slightly, but a smile passed over his lips when Sehun leaned in again.

**XIII.**

“So you like him,” Chanyeol stated simply, a brow raising in Jongin's direction as he took a drink of his beer.

They were at a quiet bar near where Jongin worked, having texted him to come have a drink after work. Chanyeol was in the middle of his master's thesis, so he'd gladly taken a chance to get out of the house and his work. Jongin shrugged, fiddling with the stem of his wine glass. “I don't know,” he admitted.

Chanyeol laughed, the sound its usual loud timbre. “Jongin, come on. You didn't ask me here to just say you don't know. Walk me through it,” he gestured.

He sighed. “We're friends, that's what we decided. And that was fine, but I guess...I might be starting to like him. He kissed me at the Christmas party,” he said. It was a week after the party, and Chanyeol had just gotten back a couple of days ago.

“Ooh la la. Was it like a pretend married kiss or an actual kiss?” he asked.

Jongin licked his lips, remembering the feeling of Sehun's lips on his own. It hadn't been the first time, of course, but something about it felt so different that he couldn't help but replay it over in his mind. “Both? Like at first it was a pretend married thing so this one nosy lady would leave us alone, but then he kissed me again after we were alone.”

“Did you guys like make out or just a kiss?”

“Why does it matter?”

“Made out then, got it,” Chanyeol pressed his lips together and gave a quick nod.

“Shut up,” Jongin laughed, but he could still feel Sehun's tongue curling over his, could feel the soft moans he let slip into the kiss.

Chanyeol gave him a look. “So what are you so hesitant about? You guys are married, remember? Just...tell him.”

Jongin let out a quiet sigh. “Yeah, but...I can't. I don't even know how I feel. And he told me he didn't like me that way, remember?” he reminded him. The words had been playing in the back of his mind, and every time they felt like someone was clawing his insides. He tried to tell himself that it didn't matter, that the kisses meant nothing. They hadn't spoken about it, and he didn't think it was worth bringing up.

“Alright. But you wouldn't have called me to talk about this if you didn't want to tell him,” he said. At Jongin's incredulous look, he held up a hand. “I've known you how long? You only talk to me about these things when you've already made a decision. I'm just here to encourage you.”

**XIV.**

The night of their six-month party, Jongin still hadn't said anything to Sehun. Nothing had really changed between them, only that sometimes he caught himself staring a little too long and found a lump in his throat when he wanted to try and say something. Sehun didn't seem to be any different, still with his sly sort of smiles and snorts of amusement whenever they talked.

“Can you believe we've been married six months?” Sehun asked as he stepped out of his bedroom, fastening his sleeve with a cufflink.

Jongin was taking a last look in the hallway mirror, and he shook his head. “It's weird, isn't it? It doesn't feel like it's been that long,” he agreed.

“I was actually going to say it feels like it's been longer,” Sehun said. “Not in a bad way, just...it feels like I've known you longer?”

A faint smile crossed Jongin's lips, and he reached out to swipe at something that was on Sehun's shoulder. “I can see that, too. Could I ask you something?” he started, but then paused, “Never mind. Let's go.” It dawned on him that if they spoke about it before the party it could make things worse, and there could easily be a sudden divide between them.

Sehun gave him a funny look, but didn't press him to ask. Instead, they simply finished getting ready and headed out to the party that was being held at Sehun's dad's house (a spur of the moment change). In the six months they'd been married, he'd hardly heard from the other's dad, only a passing smile and nod at parties they both attended. But then, Sehun didn't seem to actually interact with his own father much outside of work, so he didn't take it personally.

The house was large and sprawling, and as they arrived Jongin had to wonder how uncomfortable and quiet it was with only a few people living there at once. They entered while the party was in full swing, with couples already interacting all around the home and glasses of alcohol being passed around like water. Sehun lead the way toward his father who was in the parlor with a majority of the guests, a smile on his face as he spoke to a few business men.

On seeing them, his smile widened, and he extended a hand to reach for Sehun. “I don't think you've met my son. This is Sehun, and his husband Jongin,” he gestured.

Jongin immediately smiled at each of the men in turn, respectful as always.

Sehun, however, just gave a vague smile.

“These two are soon to be clients of ours, Sehun, I'm going to be entrusting them to your department,” he announced, and Jongin noticed that his fingers dug into Sehun's shoulder a little more.

“I look forward to discussing business with you soon,” Sehun said, almost robotic. There was an awkward pause, but Sehun excused them both soon enough.

“Shouldn't you try to be nicer to your clients?” Jongin asked. Sehun didn't really talk about his job very much, usually just shrugging it off and saying that it was “typical.”

“I am. I will be. I'm just not in...work mode, you know?” he shrugged, pausing a server to pluck up two glasses of champagne, passing one to Jongin. “When you're around, I don't want to deal with those things.”

He let out a quiet hum of consideration at his words, not exactly sure what to make of them. The party passed mostly in a similar fashion of the ones at the club, with people mostly talking of business and gossiping quietly. It was all pretension and pomp, and Jongin couldn't wait for it to be over.

Sehun seemed to share his feelings, and it wasn't long before Sehun suggested they go up and visit his old bedroom. It was on the other side of the house, and Jongin was able to take in the sterile mansion as they passed up the stairs and through the hallway. He realized that their home was the same, with no personal touches and looking almost like a show home.

He followed his husband down to the end of a hallway, and when they entered he was met with the remnants of a teenage Sehun. Posters of bands and artistic prints hung on the walls, and Jongin smiled a little. “Such a moody teenager room,” he joked softly.

Sehun snorted. “The only room in the house that isn't perfect,” he said, and went to sit down on his bed. “It was too boring down there, I couldn't take it.”

“It was...bad,” Jongin agreed. He knew why they held it, of course, but he knew that they also didn't need to necessarily be there the entire time. They'd made the rounds and made themselves known, and that was all that was asked of them.

“You can sit down, you know.”

Jongin smiled, realizing that he'd just been standing in the middle of the room. He glanced at the desk chair, but decided against it and went to sit down on the bed as well. “You and your dad don't really get along, do you?” he asked. He'd seen it in the quiet ways they didn't interact, in the way Sehun didn't talk about him and the tense ways they behaved together.

“Mm, not really,” Sehun admitted, “It's not like we fight all the time or anything. We just...don't have anything in common? He likes money and women who are too young for him. I mean I like money fine, but I guess I just don't want something so empty.”

There was a pause before a slight smile twitched at Jongin's lips. “You know, months ago I would have thought you were exactly like your dad. You only seemed interested in a good time,” he mused, “So I probably would have laughed back then. But I think I get it.”

Sehun bumped his shoulder playfully. “I have changed a bit, I guess. Marriage changes a man,” he said with a laugh.

Jongin rolled his eyes, though amusement lay in the action. “It does. I even kind of like you now.”

“Oh, really?” Sehun questioned, tone playful. “And in what way do you like me? Are you becoming fond of me, Jongin?”

He knew it was a joke, could see the way Sehun's mouth was half-curved in a teasing smirk. And yet he couldn't find it in himself to laugh it off. “Yes,” he stated instead, simple and quiet.

Another pause. Sehun blinked a couple of times. “Really?” His tone had sobered.

He could feel a faint heat creeping up his cheeks, and he prayed that a faint pink wouldn't tinge his cheeks. “Um, yeah, I guess so.”

“Why didn't you say anything?” he asked, tone quiet but somehow careful.

Jongin shrugged, wishing he hadn't said anything. “I don't know. I mean, you made it pretty clear that you didn't want to be anything more. So I didn't want to...make things weird. Too late, I guess,” he attempted a quick laugh, but it came out a little strangely.

“I didn't...Jongin, I'm sorry.”

A hand reached out, tilting his chin. Jongin allowed Sehun to lead him, though he remained wary. “What are you doing?” he questioned, though it quickly became rather clear. Their lips met gently, and Jongin felt a shiver run down his spine. Minutes passed in which Sehun kept drawing Jongin into breathless kisses, his hand grazing over his cheek. Jongin tilted his head further, lips parting as he pulled the other into deeper kisses, their tongues swiping softly against each other.

Sehun's hands reached out, pushing the jacket from Jongin's shoulders. “Is this okay?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper.

There seemed to be so much loaded in that one question, and Jongin's breath caught in his throat. “Yes,” he uttered. Though he knew that Sehun could have been indicating so much more, he knew that he wanted whatever the other was willing to give him.

It didn't take them long to undress each other, and Jongin was able to take in all of Sehun for the first time. He'd witnessed him in various states of undress, but he hadn't seen him fully exposed, and he was struck by how beautiful he was. Quietly, he said so, and Sehun only laughed a little before pulling him into another kiss.

Sehun's length was hot and heavy on his tongue, and he moaned around him as he took all of him into mouth. Above him, Sehun groaned. Fingers traced through his hair soothingly, gently coercing him to take everything. Jongin's hands rested on Sehun's hips, and used the vantage to pull him deeper.

When fingers breached him, he was left whimpering. Hands fisted the sheets and he quietly gasped out his husband's name as fingers twisted and curved. It had been such a long time, and his thoughts raced with need for Sehun.

As Sehun pushed inside of him, he exhaled a long moan, arms wrapping around the other's back to keep him close. Kisses were pressed against his lips to draw his attention, though he didn't need the distraction for long. He was filled with sensations of pleasure, and somehow knowing that Sehun wanted him was enough to make it even better. Quiet moans filled the room as they rocked together, Jongin's fingers painting marks upon Sehun's skin.

Quiet moans gave way to desperate cries the more Sehun's hips snapped into action. Jongin scrambled to pull him deeper, wanting to feel every part of his husband and savor the moment in case he didn't get another chance. In touching himself, they were both able to tip over the edge. Climax came for them with needy moans and shaky gasps in the room.

**XV.**

They hadn't actually discussed what it meant for them to have had sex, but it was evident that things had still changed. Sehun was more affectionate, sometimes kissing his cheek softly and other times clasping hands with Jongin at random times. A couple of times Sehun joined Jongin in his bed late at night, and sometimes they simply slept, other times they got more intimate.

“Can I show you something?” Jongin asked one morning, a month later, just minutes after Sehun had emerged from bed to get his coffee.

His brows raised slightly over the cup. “You seem downright chipper this morning,” he said with a light laugh, “But yeah, of course.”

Jongin shrugged a shoulder, “I was busy most of the night finishing something. Come here,” he reached out for Sehun's hand, pulling him out of the kitchen and along to his bedroom.

Sehun followed along dutifully, his coffee still clutched in his hand. When they got into the room, the canvas was turned partly away, and he couldn't see. “Did you paint something?”

“Yeah, go ahead,” he gestured.

He walked over to stand before the canvas, his gaze softening immediately. The painting was of two birds sitting on a branch, looking at each other. Their feathers were awash in color, the right bird shades of cream and yellow and pink, while the left bird was black and soft blue. “My mom's card?” Sehun finally asked, voice raspy and soft.

Jongin shifted a little on his feet, hoping that he hadn't done something that was going to upset Sehun. “Yeah. I was just thinking...you were sad the photo was black and white, right? I thought that maybe...” he trailed, not sure how to finish that sentence.

But a smile suddenly broke across Sehun's face, and he crossed the distance between them, a hand reaching to take Jongin's own. “I love it,” he finally said, “Are the birds us?”

A faint look of surprise passed over his expression, not expecting Sehun to pick up on that. “They are,” he confirmed, a smile coming to sit on his lips as well.

“Can we hang it up somewhere?”

“I'd love that. I don't want our house to be as sterile as both of our families'. I want it to feel like home,” Jongin agreed.

“Honestly, with you here it does feel like home,” Sehun suddenly admitted. Though he quickly realized his words, and an embarrassed laugh tumbled from his lips. “Thank you, Jongin. Really.”

**XVI.**

It was another month before they decided to share a bedroom. Sehun had been the one to bring it up, laughing that they practically always shared a bed anymore anyway. And Jongin had smiled easily before agreeing. It always changed for who was the one to crawl in with who. Sometimes Sehun would enter Jongin's bed with the excuse of “it's cold,” while other times Jongin would go join Sehun with heated kisses.

It took them the better part of a Saturday to move Jongin's things into Sehun's room – deciding that it was better for the both of them. Jongin didn't have quite as many belongings, keeping his wardrobe down to staples where Sehun's expanded to fit the seasons and his mood. When their possessions were joined, they both lay back on the bed, taking it all in.

“What are we going to do with the other room?” Sehun asked, turning to face Jongin.

He let out a quiet hum. “I guess a master guest room?” he suggested. They didn't have many guests who stayed for long, and they already had a guest room, but he didn't exactly know what else to do with it.

“Well, we could do something else with it. You could make it a studio for painting?” he offered. “It has good lighting, and you love your paintings.”

A smile spread across his face at Sehun's words. “You would want me to do that to our second master suite?”

“If it would make you happy, then yeah.”

**XVII.**

“You two seem cozy,” Chanyeol piped up from across the table. They were in a restaurant, surrounded by couples and families. It had been a somewhat impromptu idea, Jongin and Sehun inviting Chanyeol and Baekhyun out to dinner.

Jongin smiled a little. “We are,” he laughed.

Baekhyun lifted a brow. “So are you two finally...god how does this work?” he gestured. “If this was any other situation I'd ask if you're dating, but you're married.”

Chanyeol laughed loudly. “It's fucked up, isn't it?”

“It's not as weird as it could be,” Sehun shrugged, squeezing Jongin's hand under the table.

“Okay, are you two in love yet?” Chanyeol asked, frowning a little.

Sehun and Jongin exchanged a look. “We're...taking things slow right now,” Jongin finally offered, though he smiled a little toward his husband.

It was Chanyeol and Baekhyun's turn to look at each other, both looking a little more than suspicious. “If you say so,” Baekhyun relented.

**XVIII.**

“Sehun?” Jongin reached out, touching Sehun's shoulder, “Are you awake?” The other's back was toward him, some skin exposed under his loose tank top.

There was a soft groan before Sehun rolled over to face Jongin, gaze heavy with his exhaustion. “What's up?” he asked, though he didn't seem bothered.

“Our anniversary is next month,” he said, shrugging a shoulder slightly, “I don't know. I was just thinking about it. I'm sure our parents will plan something for it.”

A slight hint of a smile came to Sehun's face, and he reached out to pull Jongin closer, an arm winding around his waist. “What about it? Do you want to do something for it?”

“I don't know,” he admitted, though his insides warmed a bit with the way that Sehun seemed to care about his concerns. “Maybe we should? I just don't know what. I don't even...know where we are.” The admission came easier in the middle of the night, when they were both tired and would be getting up in a few hours for work.

Sehun's brows lifted almost imperceptibly. “Well, what do you want for us? We're married, we're sharing a bed, sharing a life,” he reminded him, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his forehead.

“I just needed to hear you say you want this,” he admitted, voice a whisper in the dark room.

A hand traced over his cheek. “I do. I know I didn't really want any of this at first, and I wasn't very nice about it. But you're wonderful, I'm happy being with you.”

A lump formed in Jongin's throat, and he smiled. “Sehun, I love you. It's okay if you don't feel the same way, or if you aren't ready to say it. I just wanted you to know.”

Sehun smiled, and he leaned in to capture Jongin in another kiss.

**XIX.**

It was the weekend before their anniversary when Sehun announced he had a surprise. Jongin had just finished getting dressed for the day when Sehun stopped him on the stairs. “A surprise?” he asked, a smile gracing his lips, “What kind of surprise?”

“It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you. Come on,” he reached out to take his hand.

Though he frowned just slightly, he went along with his husband who lead him out to the car. Though he asked many times where they were headed, he was met with Sehun simply shrugging and telling him to wait for it. It was a half hour before Sehun pulled into a parking lot. “Are we at a park?” Jongin asked, looking toward the sign he could vaguely make out.

“Yeah, come on,” Sehun said.

His brow furrowed just slightly, not exactly sure what Sehun had up his sleeve. He was often secretive, but he didn't usually do it in such a seemingly planned way. But Jongin only followed alongside him, curiosity pulling him along. It wasn't a traditional playground sort of park, it was more of a natural preserve, filled with shades of green and pops of vibrant plants.

They made their way further in, and it was evident that Sehun was going somewhere in particular rather than just wanting to show Jongin the area. They passed through a collection of trees in a path, and beyond was a waterfall. It was a thin stream that emptied into a pool, a wooden bridge sitting atop the water.

“It's beautiful,” Jongin uttered softly, squeezing Sehun's hand lightly. It took him a moment to realize that they weren't alone. His brows lifted in surprise on seeing Chanyeol and Baekhyun there as well, along with a man he didn't know. “What's...going on?” he asked, looking to Sehun for answers.

He cleared his throat softly, glancing toward their friends for a brief moment before his gaze returned to Jongin. Suddenly, he dropped down, kneeling on one knee, fingers still clasped around his hand. “Jongin...I know we're already married. But you and I both know why that happened. It's been a year, and I love you. Will you marry me? Again?”

Jongin's eyes were wide in surprise, his breath catching in his throat. Disbelief settled over him, trying to make sense of what was happening, even though his eyes stung with misty tears. “Yeah,” he whispered, before clearing his throat. “I will.”

**XX.**

The vow renewal took place then and there, the strange man an officiant in order to read them their vows. Jongin was glad that it was so small, that it was only each of their best friends and each other for the moment. They would have their anniversary party the following week, where everyone at the club and their parents would recognize their year of marriage.

But everything was different. Though they'd been legally married and bound to each other for a year, the reaffirmation of vows would signify that they were happy to spend their lives together instead of forcibly. Their home was their own, with Jongin's paintings and a few photos decorating the walls, and Sehun making a few stylistic changes to their home's decoration. It was them, and it was home.

Jongin stepped on the bridge, joining hands with Sehun. The words were read and his mind swam again – the first time it had been in disbelief, this time he was too absorbed in Sehun. The other offered him a small smile, thumbs running over his hands. He was calm, and he was filled with warmth and affection for the man before him. His husband. The term had never felt so true.

“Oh Sehun, do you take this man to be your husband?”

This time Sehun didn't hesitate. “I do."

“Kim Jongin, do you take this man to be your husband?”

“I do.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> So I really hope this fulfills what you wanted, lovely recipient. I'm sorry this is a little rushed and is completely un-edited. But I hope everyone likes this anyway.


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